The whole and broken selves

Inside every human being is a whole and a broken person. We all have our point of limitation. May you be blessed with the strength to overcome your challenges, and the humility to recognize your good fortune as a gift you were capable of receiving.

Depth

Being a person of depth means that you have the capacity to hold more; More love, more information, more hate, more worry. And sometimes all you hold can hold you down. The challenge people of depth face is learning what is and isn't worth holding on to, and how to let go of the things that do not serve them.

The gift of illness

It has been a rough two years and I have learned a lot. I've learned to take care of myself, to be more cautious and assrrtive with people. I have learned that everything in life is a gift that most people don't realize they have in life. Life is bavkwards this way. Every thought you think, emotion you have, and step you take are constucted of of elements that are not our own, elements of this physical and emotion plane working together to create this great unfolding we call life. None of it is your own, except the experience you gain from it. Life is backwards this way because we dont realize the supportive intelligence at work until it ceases to work. The integral nature of a word you speak,  burrowed from memory and culture, prompted by the context that at hand. The complex nature of a heartbeat. All working to help you move forward. Illness turns this ignorance on its head. Our illness, whether it be physical, mental, or spiritual in nature makes us realize this underlying support system we take for granted, and that we ourselves cannot fully recreate. If my heart wants to stop beating, it will. This at first can throw us into panic, because we realize how dependent we truly are, and how much we have to lose. It can even throw us into a state of panic and confusion, overwhelmed by the existential reality of the human condition,  the dark night of the soul. We have lost the ability to trust reality.
It is at this point we come to a doorway that we may chose to walk through, and have to walk through more than once, and that is the awareness of all the things working for you, not against you. This is how we can start to heal our disharmony. When I open my eyes, i see light, and my nrain converted the frequency into colors and is creating a picture for me to imterpret and navigate my reality. My breath continued all through the might. My digestion is moving. There is some force at work relentlessly working to sustain me, to support me. The majority of the universe works for me. The mechanism that moves all things forward is harmony, and i am part of that harmony. I start to establish a new identity, one with the most intelligent and miraculous source of life. And while the first glimmers of this realization may not heal me in a moment, the continual revisiting and giving in to this reality will heal me over time.