Yeast

I had more universal nudging.
This time it was two days ago. I learned "yeast" and then saw it flowing through a tube like it was in my bloodstream. I ignored it. How do I communicate this stuff to anyone?
The last two days I've gotten worse. My period was very abnormal this month. There was so much clotting like thick globs of fibers and hairs followed by really bright red blood. A lot heavier this month
Like all the endometriak tissue shed and left a very raw inside of my vagina that bled out a bit. Then came the nudge. Yeast.
Its hurt very badly to have sex. It makes sense if I had the yeast I fection that it got through the broken walls of my insides. I feel really bad today. Can't keep my head up. No appetite. It hurts up above where my stomach should be. Wtf. Im so dizzy and have shooting pains on my head and my eyes hurt and my head feels heavy. I've drank a lot of water. Putting stuff in my stomach makes me feel worse temporarily.

Symptoms in the middle of the nigh

I woke up around 4am which is normal. The first thing I noticed is my monthly recurrent soar throat has come back. My eyes hurt and feel dry and inflamed. The usual hand numbness is present with tingling in my arms. I have indigestion and feel very hot but no fever. I get up to take 1000mg vitamin c with some crackers and realize that the dizziness has returned as well as the general spaciness. I walk upstairs feeling very frustrated. I notice a heat sensation coming over my body around my chest, head and neck. I lie down and try to go back to sleep feeling sick like I have a cold without any congestion. My stomach feels nauseous and tender.

I have an extreme sensitivity to medications. Antidepressants make give me extreme stomach upset and pain. Pain medications as benign as Aleve cause stomach pain. Sedatives (benzodiazapines, seroquel, zyprexa, etc.) make the numbness and in my hands worse. I will wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night in panic from intense numbness.

This has forced me into a natural approach.

I take Spiralina 1 tbsp in the morning in a large bottle of water. 1000mg vitamin c and 4000mg vitamin d 500 mg magnesium. I observe a gluten free diet.
I suspect inflammation is an issue.
Too much sugar or processed foods make everything worse.

I haven't had any alcohol for 4 months

5th Chakra, Hypothyroidism, Endometriosis and Pituitary

A year ago an inner voice say the word "pituitary".  6 months ago another said "endometriosis".

I had another very interesting nudge from the universe again this morning. I have very intense fatigue, faintness, random pains, muscle aches, tingling, and so on. The nights and mornings this is most apparent. Endometriosis doesn't explain all this, and the doc told me that yesterday.
This morning I asked for guidance on my health issues. All I heard was "5th Chakra". I looked it up and it is the throat chakra. I remembered a year and a half ago I was diagnosed borderline hypothyroid (low). It wasn't far enough out of range for treatments. I consulted Dr. Yourself.com for supplement advice and found this very illuminating information:

"These all-too-common symptoms include fatigue, depression, weight gain, insomnia, difficult menopause, endometriosis, and quite a variety of others including arthritis and rheumatic complaints, low sex drive, infertility, and skin problems. Many, many persons are therefore “uncomfortable but still normal.”
...
"Since a “normal” or even somewhat high T-4 can coexist with the symptoms of low thyroid function, do not accept a test for T-4 alone. Insist on T-3 testing as well, and pay special attention to it. TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) testing will almost always be done. High TSH levels “means that the brain and pituitary (gland) are asking for more thyroid hormone.” (p 62) (By the way, “pituitary” was left out of the index, and should be added.) The authors consider any TSH number over 3.0 to be “suspicious, and anything over 4.0 merits treatment” if symptoms are present (p 75)."
http://www.doctoryourself.com/thyroid.html

5th chakra is throat where thyroid is located. Thyroid disorders cause endometriosis. The pituitary is the master gland that causes thyroid disorders, which causes endometriosis. It's all a very strange coincidence.

Vishuda (5th Chakra)

Endometriosis Surgery Pending

Yesterday I went to Mayo Clinic for a gynecological visit. They confirmed what Dr. JK felt, that I have endometriosis.  Lapriscopic surgery and possible removal of fibroid tumors is scheduled for the 4th of September.  I suspect the endometrial tissue has spilled over into more areas of the abdomen than they suspect. I feel it in my colon, my stomach bowels and sometimes chest. But I'm not so sure about the chest part.

I am healing

I eventually had to make a complete switch off the lirazepam onto valium. I am recovering rapidly. The aggression has left me. My abdominal and female pain is leaving. Blood sugar is leveling. I've been spending time reading and talking with my family. Sanity is returning. I am not in constant physical and mental agony. I am so grateful. Im moving out of my parents house and in with my partner. School is starting. I am healing.

Reactivation of the soul and reconsiliation of the spirit.

When I took medications the drugs became my joy but my mind and my soul stopped their progression. My body began to deteriorate. I could not receive any light through them so they did not grow. Everything had the illusion of light as the drug was always in me. As I come off medications I begin to be able to distinguish between that which feeds me and that which defiles me. I am able to receive light through my mind and my body and it can truly penetrate my soul and I begin to reconnect with spirit once again. Oh great spirit, how I have missed you. Let me not lose you again.

Soul: your personal fragmentment spiritual experience. Soul splits off from spirit and creates the person. Or animal. Or plant.
Spirit: the breath of life. The source of all life. That which makes the trees grow our hearts beat and the planets rotate inwhich we are all connected and a part.

Lorazepam withdrawal continued

I hate this crap. I wasn't able to get help in the er or from the psychiatrist. They both say its not possible to have the withdrawal coming off a mg and a half of use or the allergies im having. I told the doctor in the er to not give advice for things she doesn't understand. The ignorance around these medications is astounding. I had to go back up to .5 mg for the last three days to get rid of the intolerable withdrawals which are dizziness like being in an earthquake numbness and bloodsugar drop. Taking .5 means my stomach and abdominal pain has returned, I feel aggressive and my temperature rises a couple degrees I feel hot and nauseous and my eyes dry out. It's almost worse than the withdrawal. So after three days back on .5 I am going to split .25 up throughout a 24 hour period. I also have some valium so if I feel insane I will take a small dose of that to numb me out a bit and sleep. Its better to be addicted to valium as I don't have an allergy to it but I don't plan on really making an equivalent switch over to the valium. I just cannot stay on this lorazepam it is killing me. Here we go.

Lorazrpam withdrawal

Im in the emergency room trying to get help getting off of lorazepam. I'm having intense withdrawal symptoms that got most severe the last couple weeks. Its been hard to get help. Ive been hillucinating and having severe dizziness and tingling. I finally called 911 when my father assaulted me when i asked him to take me to a detox center. I didnt tell them what happened with my dad. He unplugged the phone when i called 911. I had to run outside to find service. Im still upset about it. I hope to enter a detox for a couple days so i can work out some of theses issues before i go back into an unstable environment.


4:53 AM
Had to take .4 lorazepam to stop withdrawal. Took 5 mg valium earlier. About to to take 1 mg valium to get some rest.

homeopathic success and setback

It was last Saturday that I had the inclination to try once more the last homeopathic remedy that was prescribed to me by my homeopath maybe 4 months ago.  It was Platina Metallicum 6c. It was nothing short of a miracle what happened. I was overcome by calm (me calm?) and fell asleep without Ativan and slept through the night. It gave me the incentive to go off of the Ativan, suddenly I felt stronger and knew that the benzodiazapine was a toxic force in my life. So I began to taper, and alternate each night between the remedy and the benzodiazapine. Each night I took the remedy at around 5 AM when I was free of toothpaste or food complications.  My depression began to lessen. Clarity of thought returned. Anxiety reduced. It worked miraculously every time.  Every time until the fourth time. Last night, Tuesday August 6th I took the remedy at around 2 in the AM because I couldn't sleep. When I grabbed the bottle I saw a flash of red. I took my two pellets under my tongue as usual and after not being able to sleep, clonked out.
But it was different this time. Not so peaceful. I had a dream that I wanted to know what it would be like to die and jumped from a rooftop. When I hit the ground I felt stuck in a thick gravity, compounded with high anxiety. This sort of crazy anxiety I hadn't felt since I started the remedy. My sleep was disturbed. I slept for 12 hours. Then tonight I took the Ativan I had been alternating. I'm having a very difficult time getting off of it. I found it did not make me tired, but instead made my anxiety worse, and is accompanied by heat sensations in my body. I can literally feel the heat where the Ativan goes. Stomach and then ends up in the back of my neck. Always things with the back of the neck. I have a similar heightened anxiety response to antidepressants and other supposedly sedating medications. This night I keep waking up with the panic and pressure in the back of my neck again. I don't understand it. It doesn't make sense. I was on a roll. I even saw a shooting star after taking the remedy the first time when I walked out my parents' front door.  I thought my prayers had been answered.
I feel somewhat spiritually guided, and I thought I had figured out at least part of the puzzle. This is so confusing. I think my nervous system has been triggered by the serotonin syndrome a year ago and now it's as though I am a different animal. My chemistry is highly reactive. I emailed the homeopath who I was once receiving free advice from and she requests payment, as she rightfully should. Every move is complicated by money issues. I don't have any. I go to doctors appointments and don't pay.
I pray for guidance once again. For a solution to this complicated problem. Let me know the way. Amen.

Update: I was able to normalize by antidoting with ChinaGel which contains camphor in it. I put it on my neck and heart. Fell asleep afterwards. Grateful.