i'm dying, nice to meet you.

I'm sick. Really sick. I got serotonin syndrome while switching antidepressants and taking a homeopathic remedy a year ago to try to deal with some preexisting health issues and I nearly exploded. Ever since then I have been struggling to get a proper diagnosis and get some help.  It's a thick issue, and I need somewhere to vent where nobody knows who I am so I'm not hurting anyone around me.  I've almost thrown myself in front of traffic a few times. I used to take medication for depression but now when I try to take them I get side effects that nobody's ever seen before. It's a pretty ugly picture.

Here's some of my symptoms:

Stomach and colin pain and cramping. Sensitivities to foods, caffeine, can't take most medications, even aspirin.
Pelvic pain and bleeding (not menstruation)
Dizziness, head pressure, pressure in back of neck. See spots, lights, etc.
Numbness in the extremities, especially at night.
Eye irritation, itching. Can't wear contacts anymore.
Nausea.
Fatigue, general weakness.
Emotionally I feel angry and anxious all the time.
Lost a lot of weight. But really hungry.

When I try to take antidepressants:

I become agitated, first of all.
develop either intense stomach or pelvic pain, not sure which it is, over time. (about a week)
some sort of skin reaction will occur such as rashes and boils
intense dreams to the point where I can't wake up.  And they're beyond nightmares.  Like dysphoric agitated mania type status.
All sorts of pain in my head that feels really really wrong.
Neurological shitstorm.

I'm a very unstable person.  I hide it well.  When this first happened, I let the crazy out. I even went to a free emergency clinic where they diagnosed me bipolar.  That's since been removed. Now I've learned to operate without making it obvious that half of my soul is caught in a dimension of chaos.  I wish it was bipolar.  That's how horrible and complex this is.  It's so bad I am jealous of my friend who's bipolar. She has a clear diagnosis and treatment plan.  I on the other hand, am lost at sea.