So I've had some really amazing shifts this week with my spiritual and emotional life. I feel lighter, I feel happier, I feel connected to spirit, but I'm still going in and out of it. But this lift I've experienced has really been amazing! My confidence is coming back, my emotions are leveling out. I don't feel like I'm always in the dimension of chaos anymore, which is actually a really big deal!
But it's been a really tough week physically. A few days ago I got so sick that I ended up vomiting after eating a grilled cheese and some raw carrots. I think this was a bad turning point, or a significant one. I heard the owl come outside thew window. This happens when I'm in really bad shape, I think our bodies must release a hormone or something when we're toxic, because those damn owls show up.
I was extremely weak and laying on the floor. I had to take a lot of medication for me to settle down, and I had been experiencing a lot of sleep paralysis. It was just a bad two weeks looking back. I had tried to go off the Valium and became so agitated I felt suicidal and had to go back up to 3 mg for a few days just to numb myself and then down to 2, and I think that was just too much for me. Then that night of vomiting a week or so later and the next day I woke up with swollen lymph nodes. Those have lasted a few days and then today I woke up with goiter.
I'm experiencing two extremes, one is a total high and connectedness and another is this deep sickness. So I'm trying to stay in the light but I'm so tired and can't sleep without getting sick.
No comments:
Post a Comment